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“I remember shaking as I was finding out, page by page, what happens to Jackie.
It was so scary.
It was so intense,” she tellsGamesRadar+ahead of the movie’s UK release.
“I was on the edge of my seat as I was reading, which doesn’t happen often.
Usually, like, one out of 100 scripts that you get even catches your interest.
Such a visceral reaction is incredibly rare.
I didn’t know if I was a good enough actor,” she recalls, candidly.
It’s larger than life.'
But for O’Brian, the nerves didn’t stop there.
“On my third audition or something, I remember there were a couple other girls there as well.
She was super chill.
We went in for a chemistry read and just got to play, you know?
I assume it went well because I got the job,” she laughs.
“We filmed all of the intimate scenes first.
After you’ve done all of that, the rest is pretty easy.”
She loved that it was a queer story, but we got to bebad.
“I loved that, too, because to me it’s more interesting,” she notes.
“It’s more human.
We mess up, we make mistakes, and I think that’s more relatable.
Especially when it comes to our relationship in the film, it’s very toxic.
It’s not something that anyone should want to strive for,” she laughs.
“Yeah, we both really enjoyed that antihero, neo-noir aspect of it.”
Or something more sinister?
It was because [she] decided to start getting big, you know?"
“Putting on muscle in the Midwest in the ’80s or even now really is… weird.
People call you a freak.
But people will come up and touch me in the street.
You know, it’s a very weird world and people have a weird reaction to bodies.
But yeah, in the end the backstory wasn’t really relevant to the movie.
I just used everything else to feel the emotions.”
Then I found The L Word talk about people not behaving well!
And it definitely didn’t offer up a realistic expectation for what a relationship should look like.
It lacked a lot of representation, too, within the community, even.
“There’s this symbolism, right, of love being the drug.
“Then obviously, you get the butt shots and that’s important.
I was like, ‘I’m right here.'”
While she finds the praise flattering, it’s not something the actor pays much mind to.
“I honestly don’t really read a lot of that.
Is that even my goal?
What does that mean?
This is a crazy business where you might have this amazing hit movie and then never work again.
I am fortunate to have a movie coming out and a job lined up, but who knows?
That might be the last.
“I’ve literally got a dog bite on my face.
I had to break up a dog fight this weekend.
So life happens, things happen.
I just play it day by day and live my life.”
At least next time an intimidating script rolls around, O’Brian knows not to second-guess herself.
Love Lies Bleeding is in select cinemas now, before opening wide across the UK on May 10.
